This is not satire or copied from the Onion.
Robert Lee Brock is a resident of the Indian Creek Correctional Center in Chesapeake, Virginia. Convicted of breaking and entering and grand larceny, Mr. Brock is serving a sentence of 23 years. Apparently bored with little to do, Brock decided to sue himself for $5 million dollars for a civil rights violation.
According to the Deseret News, Brock contended in his lawsuit:
“I partook of alcoholic beverages in 1993, July 1st, as a result I caused myself to violate my religious beliefs. This was done by my going out and getting arrested.”
Because of the alleged violation of his rights by himself and forced on him by himself, Brock sued himself for $5 million dollars.
If you are wondering where this is going, here’s the kicker:
“I want to pay myself 5 million dollars,” he continued, “but ask the state to pay it in my behalf since I can’t work and am a ward of the state.”
Yep. Because Brock had been arrested and could not work to pay a $5 million dollar judgement against him, he felt the financial burden fell to the state and its taxpayers.
It is safe to say that Judge Rebecca Beach Smith did not buy into (no pun intended) Brock’s legal reasoning and dismissed the suit saying:
“Plaintiff has presented an innovative approach to civil rights litigation,” Smith wrote. “However, his claim and especially the relief sought are totally ludicrous.”
We guess this means that for his legal career, Brock the plaintiff is 0 for one. As a defendant, he is 1 for 1. Overall a 50% win record is not that bad in the world of lawyering.
Maybe he can work at the Justice Department in 23 years or so.