We Blinked, And We Bet You Did Too.


Here it is.

New Years Eve.

It seems that just yesterday we were talking about the end of 2011 and the beginning of 2012. We blinked and it seems like the entire 365 days flew by. Now the curtain is closing on 2012. Where did the time go?

Here at the world wide headquarters of Raised on Hoecakes, this past year has been interesting, to say the least. We have gotten to meet and talk with a lot of new people. We have been truly blessed with what we believe are some of the best readers and commenters a blog can possibly have.

We have seen passionate discussions and debate. We have conversed with people with whom we agree and people with whom we disagree.

We can honestly say that we would gladly share an adult beverage (such as Dr Pepper) with any of them.

We have seen our little city of Satellite Beach, as well as the nation, go through historic changes and contentious times and yet the people and their passions are still strong.

State Sues Man Over “Donation.”

Sperm-egg small We aren’t sure that our headline is as accurate as it could be, but it is pretty darn close. There are many parts to this story that have us shaking our heads in bafflement.

According to the Topeka Capital Journal, four years ago, Topeka, Kansas resident William Marotta saw an ad on Craigslist looking for a sperm donor.

(First bafflement – advertising for a sperm donor on Craigslist?)

Angela Bauer and Jennifer Schreiner, a lesbian couple who described themselves as “financially stable,” were offering $50 for someone to donate sperm so Bauer and Schreiner could have a child.

“We are foster and adoptive parents and now we desire to share a pregnancy and birth together,” Bauer wrote.

Marotta responded in an email that he was 43 years old, 6 feet 1 inches tall and weighed 205 pounds, reasonably fit and in good health, with blond hair and blue eyes.

Bauer and Schriner signed a contract with Marotta stipulating that he would have no legal right or claim to the child produced by his sperm and that he would not be held legally responsible for child support, etc.

From what we have researched, this is fairly standard in artificial insemination cases. Furthermore, it is also Kansas law that a sperm donor cannot be held responsible for child support. The sperm donor also has no legal claim to visitation, custody, etc.

Marotta waived the $50 fee and gave the women his sperm in a cup.

(Second bafflement: not a test tube? Not a sealed container? A cup?)

Bauer was able to impregnate herself without the help of a doctor (saving thousands of dollars) and had a child.

After falling on what is described as “hard financial times,” Bauer, the mother, applied for public assistance to help pay for the costs of raising the child. The Kansas Department of Family and Child Services pressed Bauer for the name of the father. She eventually told the state Marotta had donated the sperm.

The state has filed a lawsuit against Marotta for child support and repayment of medical expenses for the child for which the state apparently paid.

Target – Those New Three Armed Sweatshirts Are Popular With Families.

Ever wish you had more than two hands to complete a job?

Target is ready for you!

Yes, Target is now selling products for three armed people.


Even though this is clearly a Photoshop screw-up of epic proportions, it just goes to show that even the big companies have graphic artists that make mistakes.

(Which makes us feel pretty good about the amount of mistakes we make.)

Nobody’s perfect.

Procrasti Nation.

We were going to post this earlier but just put it off for awhile……

click for larger image

click for larger image

(Courtesy John Atkinson over at Wrong Hands.)

P.S. If you are wondering why we haven’t been doing much serious commentary and serious articles, we are still basking in the glow of the holiday season here at the world wide headquarters of Raised on Hoecakes.

We’ll be back on track soon.

“Do Not Glue Mat To Porous Surfaces….”

click for larger version

click for larger version

Via our friends on the outstanding legal blog “Overlawyered” comes this “warning label” found on the back of doormats from the company High Cotton, Inc, of Asheville, North Carolina.

This perfectly fine, if not certainly adequate doormat, is MADE IN THE USA from 100% Olefin Indoor/Outdoor carpet and printed with color-fast inks. Wash with hose and brush. Dry flat. Do not machine wash.

So far, the label is similar to that found on lots of products. But then you get to the “legal disclaimers.”

Important things you should know about your new doormat.

Warning: Do not use as a projectile. Sudden acceleration to dangerous speeds may cause injury. When using mat, follow directions: Put your right foot in, put your right foot out, put your right foot in and shake it all about.

This mat is not designed to sustain gross weight exceeding 12,000 lbs. If mat begins to smoke, immediately seek shelter and cover head. Caution: if coffee spills on mat, assume that it is very hot. This mat is not intended to be used as a placemat. Small food particles trapped in fibers may attract rodents and other vermin. Do not glue mat to porous surfaces such as pregnant women, pets and heavy machinery. When not in use, mat should be kept out of reach of children with CFED (Compulsive Fibre Eating Disorder). Do not taunt mat. Failure to comply relieves the maker of this doormat, Simply Precious Home Decor, and its parent company, High Cotton, Inc., of any and all Liability.

We have no connection with High Cotton, Inc., but we have to say we admire their sense of humor. They have some interesting and funny household items including one we know a reader of ours can relate to: (more…)

Do You Hear What I Hear?

Sound-Wave-Satellite-Beach-ROH A few days ago we wrote how one of our staff had contacted Satellite Beach City Councilman Mark Brimer concerning the fact that some residents were having problems hearing during Council meetings and other meetings.

Mark Brimer informed us that another resident had raised the issue with him as well and forwarded our email to City Fire Chief Don Hughes and to Acting City Manager Jeff Pearson.

This took place on December 23, 2012.

A series of emails bounced around with people offering to help in solving this. Our concern was that we wanted people to be able to hear and participate in the meetings. It is mostly citizens who are elderly who are having hearing issues and we felt there was too much experience with those citizens for them not to be able to be engaged in the meetings at the time of the meetings. We had gotten emails from some citizens saying they were using the City’s YouTube channel to stay informed, but that is not the same thing as participating at the time of the meeting.

Yesterday, on December 26, 2012, we received an email from ACM Pearson which included an email from the city’s technology person, Adam Schultz. In his email, Mr. Schultz writes:

As requested, I investigated the audio issues in the Council Chambers.

I determined the existing wireless headsets may be the best solution for citizens who are having trouble hearing in the Chambers. These are small battery-operated units with earpieces and adjustable volume, which enhance the sound coming from the microphones in the Chambers.

I have replaced the individual earpieces with better headsets, which seem to work better.

ACM Pearson “piles on” and says:

Incredible Image of Mount Everest.

Image shows Khumbu glacier from Pumori viewpoint near Mt. Everest.  (Photo Credit: David Breashears)

Image shows Khumbu glacier from Pumori viewpoint near Mt. Everest. Click on the photo to view in full resolution. (Photo Credit: David Breashears)

Photographer David Breashears of GlacierWorks has a new way of photographing the Himalayan region: By stitching together 400-plus images into one giant, zoomable, interactive image — or a “gigapan” containing more than 3.8 billion pixels.

By clicking here or the image above, you can see the entire image in greater detail. However, there is more.

See those little green squares? Those are hot spots. Click one, and you’ll zoom into that location. The square that’s second up from the bottom, toward the left, for example: That will take you to a little village of tents — Everest base camp. Click on the tent, and you can go in. You’ll see a photo exhibit that was mounted by Breashears there. And then, click on one of the photos, and you’ll head back out to the mountain.

As you zoom in and out and look at some of the camps on the mountain, you really get some indication of the size and majesty of Mount Everest. In other words, prepare to feel really, really, really small.

It really is an incredible, interactive image.


How NOT To Use A Brand New Computer Printer.

Twenty-Dollar-Bills-ROH Okay, you got a nice shiny new “all in one” computer scanner / printer / fax machine / copier for Christmas. You open it up, hook it up to your computer. You scan and then test print some items on it.

But the tests don’t go as well as you want them to.

Perhaps the quality of the printing is off a little bit. Perhaps the result is not what you are looking for.

May we suggest that before you return the item to the store, you remove all printed items?

If you don’t you too could end up like this guy:

The discovery of a counterfeit $20 bill left in a printer that was returned to Walmart last month helped lead police to the arrest of a Richmond man.

Yep. Apparently the guy tried to print $20 bills and when it didn’t work out too well, he returned the printer leaving examples of his printing in the computer.

It gets better.

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