“Do Not Glue Mat To Porous Surfaces….”

click for larger version

click for larger version

Via our friends on the outstanding legal blog “Overlawyered” comes this “warning label” found on the back of doormats from the company High Cotton, Inc, of Asheville, North Carolina.

This perfectly fine, if not certainly adequate doormat, is MADE IN THE USA from 100% Olefin Indoor/Outdoor carpet and printed with color-fast inks. Wash with hose and brush. Dry flat. Do not machine wash.

So far, the label is similar to that found on lots of products. But then you get to the “legal disclaimers.”

Important things you should know about your new doormat.

Warning: Do not use as a projectile. Sudden acceleration to dangerous speeds may cause injury. When using mat, follow directions: Put your right foot in, put your right foot out, put your right foot in and shake it all about.

This mat is not designed to sustain gross weight exceeding 12,000 lbs. If mat begins to smoke, immediately seek shelter and cover head. Caution: if coffee spills on mat, assume that it is very hot. This mat is not intended to be used as a placemat. Small food particles trapped in fibers may attract rodents and other vermin. Do not glue mat to porous surfaces such as pregnant women, pets and heavy machinery. When not in use, mat should be kept out of reach of children with CFED (Compulsive Fibre Eating Disorder). Do not taunt mat. Failure to comply relieves the maker of this doormat, Simply Precious Home Decor, and its parent company, High Cotton, Inc., of any and all Liability.

We have no connection with High Cotton, Inc., but we have to say we admire their sense of humor. They have some interesting and funny household items including one we know a reader of ours can relate to: M19

We aren’t suggesting that you purchase anything from High Cotton, but if you want a laugh, head over there and spend a few minutes looking around.

It will make you smile.

4 Responses to ““Do Not Glue Mat To Porous Surfaces….””

  1. Furkidsmom says:

    Oh gee….now I have to decide which ones I want (and you KNOW I want a few). Thanks for the link…um…I think 🙂

    Living in a house where the cats got 44 Christmas cards and the humans got 14 we’re pretty sure we know who rules around here.

    Sharon S

  2. Furkidsmom says:

    I wonder how many of my FB friends will visit you blog. I linked to it on my profile page as well as a private group (Cats with Blogs).

    Sharon S.

    • AAfterwit says:


      I have a plugin that allows me to track from where people come to the blog. Unfortunately, the plugin does not track Facebook because of the way Facebook handles links. So there is no way of knowing.

      But I do appreciate you mentioning me to your friends!

      A. Afterwit.