Tennis Anyone?

(We received the following from a reader of Raised on Hoecakes.)

Former Satellite Beach resident Andi Porter moved to Kanab, Utah in order to support her husband whose job took him to the area. A community volunteer here in Satellite Beach, Porter took up the cause of introducing tennis to children in her new town.


Ms. Porter is reaching out to folks in Satellite Beach to help continue her mission.

Kane Kids Community Tennis – For Love of the Game

Not since the 970’s has there been an established tennis program in Kanab (a relatively isolated town in southern Utah). Therefore, a generation and their children have had little or no exposure to tennis. In 2008. a grassroots effort in Kanab was launched to reintroduce tennis to the Kane County Community. In the summer of 2009, using equipment and clothing generously donated in Satellite Beach, Florida and a volunteer instructor, 13 eager kids hit the courts in Kanab. Guess what- it worked!!!

Strange Opinion Piece On Immigration.

Immigration-ROH According to the New York Times, Carlos Puig “is a columnist for the Mexican newspaper Milenio and the anchor of the television show En 15.”

The New York Times published an op-ed piece by Puig on June 26, 2013 that simply boggles the mind.

Puig argues that the US should not ramp up or increase border security or immigration enforcement because of the damage done by returning illegal aliens from the US to Mexico. Puig states the damage he is concerned with is that to Mexico – not the United States.

But this latest [Immigration and Border Security] plan will only put more stress on Mexican border towns that already bear the brunt of unexpected and, often, unwanted waves of returnees from the United States.

Since 2008, the U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement (I.C.E.) has increased deportations of illegal aliens under a policy to maximize “the removal of those who pose the greatest threat to public safety or national security.” The agency says it has sent back close to 410,000 individuals from the United States in the 2012 fiscal year, almost 55 percent of them — 225,390 people — convicted criminal aliens. That’s almost double the number of criminals deported in 2008 — and, the agency says, “the largest number of criminal aliens removed in agency history.”

At this point it almost seems as if Puig is arguing that the US should bear the total responsibility for Mexican citizens to come into the US illegally, commit a crime, be convicted of a crime, and then returned to Mexico rather than Mexico being responsible for the illegal and criminal actions of their own citizens.

Well, it doesn’t just seem that is what he is saying, it is what he is saying.

Indeed, the policy’s success translates into thousands of convicted murderers, sex offenders and drug dealers being sent back to their countries of origin, which means largely to Mexico. According to the latest figures from the U.S. government, about 450,000 Mexicans who committed crimes in the United States were returned home between 2008 and 2011. This is partly because in 2007 I.C.E. began implementing a program called Rapid REPAT, offering undocumented aliens convicted of criminal offenses early release in exchange for immediate repatriation.

Yeah, because we all know that the US, rather than Mexico or another country, should bear the costs and brunt of the actions of people here in the US illegally.

This would all be laughable if it weren’t for the fact that the Mexican immigration laws are more strict than those of the United States.

More Fun With AT&T.

ATT-Fire-ROHOur friends at AT&T recently announced they were making changes to their web based email system. We received a lot of emails on what they were doing, but key to the whole thing is that there were to be no changes to the system if you were accessing emails by any email client such as Outlook, Thunderbird, Pegasus, or Outlook Express, which is what we happen to be using.

A few days ago, we started having problems with accessing the email sub accounts. Thinking it was a temporary glitch, we let it sit for a day and then called AT&T.

The first person with whom we spoke could not differentiate between web based mail (their term) and mail accessed by a mail client. They continued to tell us that getting email via Outlook Express and signing into the site to get email were the same things.

Obviously, they are not.

The second person we spoke to asked us to do something to verify the sub accounts. When we went to the site he gave us, any attempt to update the settings resulted in an error message saying the system was down for maintenance. He didn’t believe us, so we let him try and sure enough, there was the error message. This becomes important because the call center technicians have a screen where they can check the status of the servers. That screen, according to the tech we spoke with, said all servers and services were up and running.

When we asked why if all servers and services were up, why were we both getting the same error message, he couldn’t answer.

We gave up.

Iconic Figure Accused Of “Stolen Valor.”

Capn-Crunch-ROH We began to hear rumblings concerning this last week, but we waited for more information, hoping against hope the charges being leveled weren’t true.

Horatio Magellan Crunch, who goes by the name of “Cap’n Crunch,” wears a uniform of a Commander, and not the uniform of one who has obtained the rank of Captain.

As you can see in the graphic below, Captains wear four stripes on their sleeves, while Commanders wear only three. Sadly, images of “Cap’n Crunch” show his uniform to be bedecked with only three stripes – signifying the rank of Commander.

Even worse, according to the Wall Street Journal, there is no record of the Cap’n serving in the U.S. Navy.

The controversy deepened on Wednesday when the Pentagon said it had no record of a Cap’n Crunch ever serving in the U.S. Navy.

“We have no Cap’n Crunch in the personnel records – and we checked,” said Lt. Commander Chris Servello, director of the U.S. Navy’s news desk at the Pentagon. “We have notified NCIS and we’re looking into whether or not he’s impersonating a naval officer – and that’s a serious offense.”

The Navy’s repudiation is fueling speculation the Cap’n Crunch, who wears a Napoleon-style hat, may actually be French.

Oh my dear Lord.

If he were French, wouldn’t his name be “Capitaine Craquement?” Has he been deceiving us that much? Can we see his birth certificate? His DD214? For the love of all that is holy can we make sure the SS Guppy isn’t mothballed on soy milk?

Reading Test 101.

Somehow, we think there’s a problem here.


City Council Meeting Re-Cap.

Satellite-Beach-Flying-Pig-ROH The Satellite Beach City Council met in regular session on June 19, 2013. Normally we make a write up about the meetings within a day or two, but for a variety of reasons, we decided to wait on reporting on this meeting.

By far the best and most rewarding part of the meeting was the presentation of awards and thank you to the folks that donated money to allow the Satellite Beach Fire Department to procure advanced airway insertion medical equipment. We covered the actual apparatus and the people that donated the money here, but we want to acknowledge their efforts again.

Three agenda items were skipped. Item 9 (Robotics Program) was passed over. Item 16, a procedure to streamline building plans, permits, etc was skipped. Item 17 which requested a vacating of a right of way was also skipped over. These items will reappear at a later date.

One of the issues facing the City is a lack of reserves in the City budget. The reserves are the city’s “savings account for a rainy day.” It is there in case the city is faced with an unexpected expenditure, or needs funds to recover after a hurricane or something like that. With the City needing funds to replenish the reserves, we were somewhat surprised the City Council voted to pay for the City Attorney to attend the Annual Florida Municipal Attorneys Association 32nd Annual Seminar. In the scheme of things, the amount of money for this isn’t too much, but it is the philosophy of the spending that bothers us to some extent. The City needs money and yet we are spending it as if we have a printing press under the floor at the Public Works Department.

The City Council approved the new fee schedule for the use of City Recreational Facilities. This particular item has been bouncing around for awhile now and it needed to be closed out. We believe the Rec Board did a good job in trying to balance the need for income to maintain the facilities versus the “quality of life” issue the facilities add to the City.

However, once again and despite the City Council, the City Attorney and the City Manager knowing about this, the Ordinance passed with the City codifying viewpoint discrimination.

The following sections of the ordinance were approved:

SECTION 32. Permission to use the facilities will be denied to any private or non-profit group charging admission or “Passing the Hat”, unless prior City Manager permission has been granted.

SECTION 33. Permission to use the facilities for denominational and non-denominational religious services or for “Sunday School” will be denied, but church-affiliated groups may reserve the facilities for social or recreational purposes.

The City has the right to rent out its facilities and control those facilities. We do not dispute that fact. However, when this ordinance first came up, a friend spoke at the City Council meeting saying that if the City was going to allow educational groups to rent city facilities, it could not discriminate on the basis of the content being taught.

At the time, our friend used the example that the City could not allow a seminar on abortion by one group, and then deny a pro-life seminar by another group. The City has to remain neutral in its viewpoint.

Now there is a better, real example.

One of the items the City was going to vote on this meeting was an agreement between the City and the Satellite High Robotics team to use City facilities rent free for the Satellite High Robotics team.

Once the City establishes that educational groups can use City facilities, it cannot come behind and say “we won’t allow certain things to be taught.” That is a clear violation of the First Amendment.

Pastry Appeal Denied.

Pastry-Gun-ROH You may remember the case of Josh Welch, a second grader attending Park Elementary School near Baltimore, Maryland. Josh was suspended last year for allegedly biting parts off a pastry (a Pop Tart or generic brand) leaving the remaining pastry in the shape of a gun.

The pastry “gun” was a rectangular, strawberry-filled bar, akin to a Pop-Tart, that the second-grader had tried to nibble into the shape of a mountain Friday morning, but then found it looked more like a gun, [father] B.J. Welch said.

Welch said an assistant principal at Park Elementary School told him that his son pointed the pastry at a classmate — though the child maintains he pointed it at the ceiling.

“In my eyes, it’s irrelevant; I don’t care who he pointed it at,” Welch said. “It was harmless. It was a Danish.”

Teachers and administrators freaked out, and suspended Josh, who was 7 years old at the time, for two days.

In the eyes of many, the incident shows the folly of so called “zero tolerance” rules in schools. Such rules equate a pastry or a drawing of a gun with the real thing. The school administrators were also accused of a lack of common sense. After all, if you want children to learn, then simply say to the child, “we don’t do that here.” Instead, the child is sent home and suspended for a pastry.

We aren’t too thrilled with the NRA either, who gave Josh a lifetime membership. To us, that doesn’t solve the problem of the people at the school who made the decision to suspend Josh to begin with and tries to make a 7 year old a poster child against gun control.

There are times when you just need to let kids be kids, an idea that Josh himself understands.

Everyone keeps asking me why I did it,” Josh said. “I don’t know why I did it … I wish people would stop asking me about it. It’ll probably go on for 45 years or something.”

One would think after all the rhetoric and all the back and forth, cooler heads would prevail and the incident would be wiped from the records of this 7 year old.

One would be wrong.

Satellite Beach Can Breathe Easier.


That’s really what life comes down to most of the time. Opportunities.

At the Satellite Beach City Council meeting on June 19, 2013, Satellite Beach Fire Chief Don Hughes had the opportunity to stand before the Council and the citizens of Satellite Beach to recognize and thank many people for donating funds to allow the Fire Department to purchase what was described as “advanced airway equipment.”

We want to take the opportunity to thank and acknowledge those folks as well.

They are:

The Satellite Beach Women’s Club, the Lions Foundation, Comfort Air & Heat, 55 Plus Club, the Houston Family, Carolyn Cavanaugh and Melbourne Discount Pharmacy.

Donating the money for one of the apparatus would be wonderful, but after Chief Hughes jokingly mentioned there are two EMS units within the City, the same group of people seized upon that opportunity to donate enough money to purchase a second unit.

Now if you are like us, you wonder what is so advanced or special about the units that are being purchased. We took the opportunity to ask Chief Hughes and he was gracious enough to respond with a link to the item itself so we could read about it.

The apparatus is the VLS 6600 hi-resolution video laryngoscope system from IntuBrite, Inc.

The system allows for the insertion of an airway into a patient by not only having medical personnel “feel” the airway going in, but allows them to see the insertion via tiny a LED camera. This will allow the medical personnel to see any obstructions, damages to the airway, etc., resulting in getting oxygen to the patient faster and with less trauma to the patient.

The system comes with a small, high definition video screen as well.

Below is a video of the VLS 6600 in action.

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