Cocoa Beach: Well, That Didn’t Take Long.

We said earlier that we thought the Cocoa Beach Tattoo Company would initiate a legal appeal to the decision of the Board of Adjustment.

Our ninjas have sent word that they have done just that.

The company is being represented by attorney Kimberly Bonder Rezanka, who you may remember won the shark sign case.

Cocoa Beach: Dear Commissioner….

EDITOR’S NOTE: Below is a copy of an email we have sent to every member of the Cocoa Beach Commission. We are doing this prior to the May 30, 2017 workshop on the selection of a firm to provide legal services to the City. We probably would have sent a representative to both the Commission meeting and Board of Adjustment meeting to highlight the failure of sound legal advice from the City Attorney, but both meetings occur after the workshop. We wanted to give Commissioners additional information of which they may not be aware.

Dear Commissioner,

On May 30, 2017 the City of Cocoa Beach Commission will hold an public workshop for the purposes of presentations and public interviews from both citizens and the Commission as a whole for the purpose of contracting with a firm for legal services.

One of the proposed firms is the current firm upon which the City relies upon for legal services: Fowler, O’Quinn, Feeney & Sneed, P.A.

We have been critical of the firm in the past due to a lack of preparation (the City seal issue,) a lack of quality legal advice (i.e. City rules that allow dissenting voices to be removed,) a lack of professionalism (acting as Board members rather than being a consultant to that Board,) and giving legal advice that was wrong (City seal issue on costs.) Several times we have sent a representative to your meetings to discuss these issues.

However, due to the timing of the workshop and the timing of a regular Commission meeting, we are not able to highlight another instance of a legal problem caused by Fowler, O’Quinn, Feeney & Sneed, P.A. – specifically Attorney Marsha Segal-George.

We will try to be brief but give some documentation to what we are saying.

On May 17, 2017 the Board of Adjustments met to and under new business looked at three cases. ((Agenda here: )

Case “C3” was an application for a “special exemption” from the Cocoa Beach Tattoo Company represented by the owner David Cox. (the case briefing can be seen here: )

At issue was the applicant wanting to locate a tattoo shop within 2000 feet or another tattoo shop. The actual distance of 1730 feet required a special exemption under the Land Development Regulations (LDRs.)

During the discussion of the case, Chairman Don Haynes said he seemed to remember “legislation or something” that tattooing was a First Amendment issue and asked the City Attorney if the City “could get in trouble.” (Timestamp 01:26:31 of the video.)

Shaming Restaurants.

Idiocy has reached new heights.

If you’re a white person, you have no business running a restaurant that serves Asian, Latin, African, or Indian cuisine.

That’s according to the creators of a “white-owned appropriative restaurants” list, which accuses several Oregon establishments of engaging in cultural appropriation—a tool of “a white supremacist culture.”

The list, a Google Docs spreadsheet, includes about 60 Portland-area restaurants, the names of their white owners, and the kind of cuisine they serve. (For example, the list informs us that Burmasphere “was founded by a white man who ate Burmese food in San Francisco.”) The spreadsheet also lists competing restaurants that are owned by people of color and urges customers to try them instead.

“This is NOT about cooking at home or historical influences on cuisines; it’s about profit, ownership, and wealth in a white supremacist culture,” wrote the spreadsheet’s authors. “These white-owned businesses hamper the ability for POC [people of color] to run successful businesses of their own (cooking their own cuisines) by either consuming market share with their attempt at authenticity or by modifying foods to market to white palates. Their success further perpetuates the problems stated above. It’s a cyclical pattern that will require intentional behavior change to break.”

The “success” the restaurants have is based on the quality of food and service. That is why people go the the establishment – to get good food and service. Furthermore, if you don’t want to patronize a certain business, here’s a radical thought:


Apparently this list came in response to an article written on the WillametteWeek website profiling a food cart where two women made tortillas. The owners said this:

Well, They Could Have Texted Too.

This rings so true to us.

(courtesy “Mr. Lovenstein“)

Regulating The Selling Of Books.

One of our good friends here at ROH is a self published, (indie publishing) author. The rise of self published books has been a boon for authors whose works would not have been seen or read by others. On demand printing means that the author has access to resources they would have had to pay a large publishing house in the past for. Indie publishing authors are also able to market their own books and appear in book stores or marketplaces where they can meet fans and sign copies of books for people.

It’s a “win-win” for all. Right?


California has passed a memorabilia law that somehow has caught bookstores, authors and even customers in its web.

The law was intended to verify and keep fake memorabilia out of the marketplace. For years, there have been fake baseball cards, jerseys, albums etc that have been purported to have been signed by someone and have not been. It’s a legitimate concern that someone should be getting what they pay for.

But in the case of a book, you aren’t paying for the author’s signature at a book signing. You pay for the book and the author signs it. There is no added value at the time of the sale to the signed book. That’s why the law should not apply to book signings.

The regulations are onerous, to say the least.

Virginia Woman Arrested For Having An Alarm Clock.

Last year the daughter of a friend of ours graduated from high school. We searched for an appropriate gift for the young lady – perhaps one that she could use as she ventured off to college.

We didn’t want to do a gift card, or a pen set, or anything that didn’t have a certain “what the heck?” fun element to it.

So we got the lass an alarm clock. We were surprised at the different types of alarm clocks that are out there. There are regular digital clocks. There are clocks that if you don’t shut them off will jump off your nightstand and go racing around the room while the alarm is going off, forcing you to get out of bed to chase the thing. There are clocks which require you to enter a code or answer math question before shutting off. There are clocks that will spray water on you until you cut them off. There are clocks that look like a “bomb” that require you to unplug wires in a certain order before the alarm goes off. (More on that in a moment.)

We went with a loud clock. The clock we got the young lady, who like any typical teen hates to get up in the morning, has a piercing alarm that can be set to 140 decibels – about the noise of a jet engine. (It also came with a “shaker” that you can put under the mattress and it will vibrate and shake until you wake up.)

Congratulations on graduating! Here’s a clock. Welcome to the real world where mom isn’t there to make sure you wake up.

This past Friday 52 year old and mother Daphne Paige saw an alarm clock in the shape of a bomb at a yard sale in Virginia. Paige bought the clock for a buck and put it in the backseat of her car. She says she bought it as a gag gift for her daughter.

Page went to the local Whole Food Market and all Hades broke out.

Fear The Turtle.

As we noted yesterday, the Maryland Terrapins mens lacrosse team played Albany in a quarter-final game for in NCAA Tournament.

We jokingly said that there would be “blood tonight” but like most people expected a close game.

That didn’t happen.

Maryland scored 12 goals in the first half alone, including a 8-0 run to go up 10-2. The Terps were never threatened after the 2-2 tie with the offense clicking on all cylinders and the defense playing lights out.

The final was 18-9, but it wasn’t really that close as Maryland rested all of its starters in the fourth quarter.

With the win, Maryland heads to “championship weekend” where they will play Denver in the semi-finals next Saturday. This will be Maryland’s 6th appearance in the Final Four in 7 years. It’s about time we bring one of these championships home.

Fear the Turtle!

Why Is Fake Blood So Hard To Make?

While this seems like a different topic for us, there is a reason.

You see, the University of Maryland Terrapins have the number one seeded team in the NCAA women’s lacrosse tournament as well as the men’s tournament. That’s right, there are two turtles sitting at number one.

Last week, the men looked lethargic in beating Bryant College, but to be fair, Bryant was out of school and the Terps were still in exam week. The Terps won, but didn’t look good doing it.

Yesterday, the women “stunk up da joint” and barely beat Stoney Brook. Maryland had trailed most of the game and late in the game was trailing 11-7. Somehow they managed to close the gap to 11 – 10, and following a Stoney Brook goal, scored the next three to win 13 – 12.

The men have Albany this afternoon and Albany is no slouch. The prediction is a close game, but we are hoping for a blowout.

We get too nervous in close games.

So why the reference to making fake blood?

Because if Maryland wins, there will be “Albany blood” on the field. If Maryland loses, there will be blood on the field as well.

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