If Law & Order: SVU Was Southern.

If you ruin the seasoning on a cast iron skillet intentionally, there should be consequences.

Well, There Are “Policies,” And There Are “Policies.”

Social media platforms have been in the news lately for “de-platforming” those who have political opinions other than what is acceptable to those platforms.

Twitter is one of those platforms who (in)famously de-platformed President Donald Trump for expressing opinions that Twitter did not like.

Yet Twitter was allowing child porn on their site:

Twitter refused to take down widely shared pornographic images and videos of a teenage sex trafficking victim because an investigation “didn’t find a violation” of the company’s “policies,” a scathing lawsuit alleges.

The federal suit, filed Wednesday by the victim and his mother in the Northern District of California, alleges Twitter made money off the clips, which showed a 13-year-old engaged in sex acts and are a form of child sexual abuse material, or child porn, the suit states.

The teen — who is now 17 and lives in Florida — is identified only as John Doe and was between 13 and 14 years old when sex traffickers, posing as a 16-year-old female classmate, started chatting with him on Snapchat, the suit alleges.

Well, That Didn’t Take Long.

On his first day in office, President Joe Biden signed a series if Executive Orders (EO’s) including one requiring masks to be worn on Federal property.

The order says:

Sec. 2. Immediate Action Regarding Federal Employees, Contractors, Buildings, and Lands. (a) The heads of executive departments and agencies (agencies) shall immediately take action, as appropriate and consistent with applicable law, to require compliance with CDC guidelines with respect to wearing masks, maintaining physical distance, and other public health measures by: on-duty or on-site Federal employees; on-site Federal contractors; and all persons in Federal buildings or on Federal lands.


Lt. Governor Of Pennsylvania Doesn’t Know The First Amendment.

Pennsylvania Lt. Gov. John Fetterman spoke the other day and offered this gem:

“This idea that saying that Pennsylvania was ‘rigged’ or that we were ‘trying to steal the election,’ that’s a lie,” Fetterman told The Hill. “And you do not have the right, that is not protected speech.”

Fetterman argued that tweets by President Trump echoing the false claim should have been removed by Twitter “immediately” and insisted such an action was “not de-platforming” but rather “deleting lies that are yelling ‘fire’ in a crowded theater when there is none.”

Inauguration Day.

Today, Joe Biden will be sworn in as president along with Kamala Harris as vice president.

Ahead of the inauguration, there have been violent protests and destruction of property:

Six police officers suffered minor injuries when protesters flung bricks, trash cans and other objects, and ignited small fires, [Metro Police Chief] said.

Four businesses were vandalized and sustained “significant damage,” he said. Also, demonstrators torched a limousine, police at the scene said.

All of the 217 people arrested on Friday were charged with rioting, Newsham said. And in some cases cops used flash-bang grenades and pepper spray to keep them from getting closer to the parade route.

In response, the National Guard is supplying 25,000 troops to Washington, DC. The troops are being quartered in hotels, at a local armory, and at the convention center.

You probably haven’t heard about the destruction and rioting we mention above because it happened during the Trump inauguration.

Congress Demands Investigation Into University Of Notre Dame For Incitement.

Members of Congress are calling for an investigation into the University of Notre Dame, claiming the school is a hot bed for incitement of violence and insurrection.

“We have no idea what this is about,” said Father Charles “Chuck” O’Malley. “This accusation came as a total surprise to us.”

Speaker Nancy Pelosi said “Notre Dame must be held accountable. Their calls for fighting cannot be considered proper. Just listen to the song they repeatedly sing! They take pride in being the ‘Fighting Irish!'”

Rally sons of Notre Dame:
Sing her glory and sound her fame,
Raise her Gold and Blue
And cheer with voices true:
Rah, rah, for Notre Dame
We will fight in ev-ry game,
Strong of heart and true to her name
We will ne’er forget her
And will cheer her ever
Loyal to Notre Dame

Cheer, cheer for old Notre Dame,
Wake up the echoes cheering her name,
Send a volley cheer on high,
Shake down the thunder from the sky.
What though the odds be great or small
Old Notre Dame will win over all,
While her loyal sons are marching
Onward to victory.

“Notre Dame’s call for volleys and cheering, as well as ‘thunder from the sky’ is an obvious call for gun violence,” said Chuck Schumer. “These religious zealots marching is wrong and they must be stopped.”

Alabama Representative and Democrat Terri Sewell weighed in on the controversy saying, “clearly Notre Dame cannot accept the outcome of this year’s College Football playoffs where Alabama beat them like a rented drum. The University of Alabama beat them fairly so perhaps they are having problem with a southern school kicking Yankee butt 31 – 14. Their claim of “victory” and an overall win is a lie and must be punished. Roll Tide!”

Sewell’s reference to a “southern school” was immediately condemned.

“While I respect Representative Sewell’s opinion, her applauding of a southern school shows she has forgotten that white privilege is real,” Vice-President Elect Kamala Harris said. “Even the referee uniforms, which have more white stripes than black shows we are still living in an age where suppression by whites still exists.”

When asked how Notre Dame could atone for its lies and calls of violence, Pelosi suggested that students and faculty at the school needed to be re-educated. “Wafers for communion should be eliminated as well and replaced with Jeni’s premium ice cream,” she said.

EDITOR’S NOTE: For our satirically challenged readers, the above is satire showing the charges laid on Trump to be ridiculous.

Lyft Driver Fired For Defending Herself From Attackers.

Cynthia Norman worked sometimes as a Lyft driver and has done so since the ride sharing service became available in Cleveland.

Last week, after picking up two men who she describes as being in their 20’s, Norman was given a destination that made her uncomfortable.

“This was something unusual I had never seen,” Norman said.

However, she said nothing could have prepared her for being carjacked while on the job.

“He opens the door, he gets in and he said, ‘Oh, I’m cold. Do you care if I sit up front,’” Norman said. “I could see it’s about to go bad.”

First Time Sportscaster.

Charlie Berens is a comedian who has a YouTube channel where he plays a somewhat backwoods Wisconsin-ite. Lots of in state jokes, but it is still funny.

“Der ya go.”

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