A Little Bit Of Humor Before Michael.

We are writing this the day that Hurricane Michael is about to slam into the Florida panhandle. As anyone who has witnessed first hand a hurricane of any strength bearing down on them, it is a scary and stressful time. If people leave their homes and evacuate, that adds more stress to the situation. If you are a “first responder,” the time leading up to a hurricane, during a hurricane and after a hurricane is stressful as well.

Which is why we love this “trespass notice” from the Santa Rosa County Sheriff’s Office to the Weather Channel’s Jim Cantore.

The Facebook post from the Sheriff’s Office says:

Cocoa Beach: If Question One Is So Great, Why Lie About It?

Cocoa Beach resident John Byron has an op-ed piece in the Florida Today entitled “Vote ‘yes’ to change Cocoa Beach height restrictions in 2018 elections.”

Years ago, Byron offered that people who would normally register as Democrats should instead register as Republicans so in primaries, they could vote for the lesser of Republican candidates to run against a Democrat foe in the general election. In the general election, the faux “Republicans” would then shift their vote for the Democrat candidate hoping to get them elected. In other words, Byron was advocated lying in order to skew primaries and subvert the election process.

In the op-ed piece, Byron is up to his old tricks of not being truthful.

For example, he writes:

Why? Because it retains the 45-foot height that’s been the law since 2002.

This is patently absurd.

If the ballot initiative was to retain the current height limits, there would be no need for the ballot question – the current law would just be kept on the books without a change.

Why is Byron not telling the truth about the height issue as it relates to the ballot issue?

It appears he is not being truthful about the impact of the ballot issue as well:

Question one has limited purpose. It affects only the 13 percent of the city where buildings as tall as 45 feet can be built. It has no impact on city areas set aside for single-family homes.

Heifer hockey.

The ballot issue seeks to change Section 6.04 of the City Charter which reads:

As Promised.

We promised that we would post the supporting documents / statements from authorities concerning the object found in Satellite Beach.

We received the incident report from the Brevard County Sheriff’s Office as well as an official statement from Patrick Air Force Base.

The report from the BCSO contains identifying information as to the address and phone of the person making the call. It is not our habit to “dox” people and post identifying information. We just won’t go down that path as it is wrong. Therefore, on the report we have redacted in red the address and the phone number of the person.

The black redaction was in the original record and was made by the BCSO.

Here is the 2 page BCSO report:

Patrick Air Force Base replied thusly:

Why We Won’t Be Drinking Dr Pepper Anytime Soon.

How could Dr Pepper make this ad?

Somehow the geniuses at Dr Pepper decided to take a swipe at the only true American sport in the bunch. (0:17 mark)

Soccer? Not American.

Football? Derived from British rugby and other sports.

Lacrosse? Invented by native Americans as an alternative to war with other tribes. Yeah, go ahead and make fun of lacrosse Dr Pepper. Go ahead and show your ignorance.

Dr Pepper must be boycotted and shut down until they repent, remove this ad, apologize to lacrosse players as well as native Americans for insulting their culture, and take courses on the history of sports.

Editor’s Note: See how easy it is to get “offended” at something rather meaningless? Once offended, it is easy to call for boycotts, demean the speakers, demand apologies, demand that they get sent to a “gulag” for “re-education,” etc. Given a different context such as a soft drink ad campaign, it is easy to see how social justice warriors who are offended at everything should be dismissed 99% of the time.

If you are still unsure, the above post is satire on Dr Pepper is satire.

Now excuse us as we throw away our 12 pack of Dr Pepper……

Another Day, Another Business Threatened By Compelled Creative Speech.

Stop us if you’ve heard this one before…..

Business owned by religious family will be forced to create something against their religious beliefs.

Carl and Angel Larsen own Telescope Media Group (“TMG”), which is a video company that centers on making religious based films, specifically Christian films.

The Larsens decided that they expand into telling the stories of couples getting married. As you can imagine, there was a problem:

But the Larsens’ desire to enter the wedding cinematography field has hit a huge obstacle — a speech coercing state law. According to Minnesota officials, the State’s Human Rights Act mandates that if the Larsens make films celebrating marriage between one man and one woman, then they must make films celebrating same-sex marriages as well. State officials have repeatedly threatened to prosecute expressive business owners who decline to create speech promoting same-sex marriages. And there are steep penalties for violating the law, including payment of a civil penalty to the state, triple compensatory damages, punitive damages up to $25,000, and even up to 90 days in jail.

If the Larsens were selling cameras, lenses, film, etc., and said “we won’t sell to gay couples,” we’d be against them. We’ve discussed this many times before in that the Larsens would be making an initial contract offer for goods by a sign that shows the item and how much it is. If accepted, they should have to abide by the contract they initiated.

This Is The Epitome Of A Mickey Mouse Lawsuit.

Are you kidding us?

Marc Rubin said he was picking out the spot to propose to his future wife in front of Cinderella Castle at the Magic Kingdom when the most important moment of his life was thwarted by a Disney employee who insisted he move, court documents say.

Now, Rubin is suing Walt Disney Parks and Resorts after the 2015 altercation. The lawsuit, seeking more than $15,000, was filed in late September in Orange Circuit Court.

The Disney cast member had a different account of what happened that July.

The 24-year-old told authorities that when she asked Rubin to move 3 feet back for the parade route, Rubin screamed in her face and grabbed her.

Rubin, a visitor from Suffolk County in New York, pleaded no contest to disorderly conduct and was fined $100 plus court costs, according to documents provided by the State Attorney’s Office.

So this chucklehead is suing over an incident to which he later pleaded guilty?

The Randomness Problem: How Lava Lamps Protect the Internet.

It’s been a long week so we are going to turn on our lava lamp and do something random this weekend.

Randomness is important for all kinds of things, from science to security, but to generate true randomness, engineers have turned to some pretty odd tricks!

Re-Write The Rules.

Just prior to the start of the Major League Baseball playoffs, Major League Baseball released this video which includes a voice over and cameo appearance by Hall of Famer Ken Griffey, Jr.

We’ve watched this video several times and we still can’t figure out what it is trying to say.

MLB has always been against the showboating types of displays such as watching home runs, flipping bats, pointing at players on the other team, etc. It is a form of taunting which generally leads to someone getting a 90+ mph fastball in their ribs.

Now this video seems to be saying “let players do what was previously unthinkable and considered unsportsmanlike.”

Baseball is a game of emotion. Without it, baseball would be boring beyond belief. No one is asking that that all emotion be taken out of the game as some would suggest.

Think of some of the big moments in MLB history. The Carlton Fisk walk off home run in game 6 of the 1975 has Fisk watching the ball, waving and willing it fair, and then celebrating as he runs the bases.

Who can forget Kurt Gibson’s home run in game 1 of the 1988 World Series? Gibson watches the ball for a moment and then drags his bad leg around the bases celebrating with an arm in the air.

Or even Joe Carter’s walk off home run to win the 1993 World Series? (The only time a walk off home run decided the World Series.) Carter watched the ball and then literally skipped around the bases.

No one complained about the way those players handled the home run or their celebration as they circled the bases.

So what is different between those accepted celebrations and the ones in the MLB video above?

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