Pork In Government.

(image courtesy of "Giggles the Pig For Flint Mayor Facebook page)

(image courtesy of “Giggles the Pig For Flint Mayor Facebook page)

Can we talk about pork in government?

Or rather, can we talk about pork in government that we could believe in and support?

Let us introduce you to Giggles the pig (seen above.) Photogenic, isn’t she?

Giggles is running for mayor of the town of Flint, Michigan.

(Yes, really. A pig is running for mayor.)

The Facebook page “Giggles the Pig for Flint Mayor” gives the reason:

I have been asked a lot of questions about Giggles running for Mayor, so I’ll explain it one time–and then we can get back to the fun. It started because one of the city council members, who was convicted of murder, announced he was running for mayor. I am pretty forgiving, but it I am really strongly opposed to murder—and think electing a mayor who was convicted of murder sends a bad message about our city. Not to mention the embarrassing letters he has written about Flint. We also have a mayoral candidate who was recently convicted for driving his car while drunk on the highway with three flat tires—while driving the wrong direction on the highway. This same mayoral candidate has been thrown out of council meeting because he cannot behave himself. Flint deserves better candidates than this. While reading about these people it occurred to me that Giggles would be a more dignified candidate—and I’m right.

The man behind the campaign is lawyer Michael Ewing who has met all the legal requirements for Giggles to be on the ballot including a campaign committee. A few weeks ago, Giggles got a huge boost in her chances when it was announced that the Mayor’s election would be a write-in affair. There won’t be any printed ballots with the names of candidates because the City of Flint screwed up the filing dates:

Without court intervention, all of the candidates — including incumbent Mayor Dayne Walling — would have to file as write-ins for the November general election, and the primary election would not be held, officials said.

The Michigan Secretary of State’s Office last week told Flint Clerk Inez Brown that her office gave candidates the wrong cutoff date for nominating petitions — April 28 instead of April 21.

None of the candidates submitted the required 900 signatures by April 21 to be certified for the primary ballot. Councilman Eric Mays filed his petition April 6, but only had 852 valid signatures by the state’s deadline, a city spokesman said.

“At this point … all candidates would be … in accordance with the law, write-ins,” said City Administrator Natasha Henderson at a news conference today. “However, the city’s position is (that) we would like…all of the names on the ballot.”

Write-in candidates always face an uphill battle but because all of the mayoral candidates are write-ins, it is just as easy to write “Giggles” as it is to write “Smith” or “Jones.”

Giggles campaign manager, the aforementioned Michael Ewing takes a shot at filling debacle as well:

The final straw came a couple of days ago when the news broke that there would be no mayoral candidates on the ballot this year because of a couple screw-ups. We couldn’t even get a simple election right. And not even an election really—just the nominations. And yet we assure the State of Michigan that we are ready to govern our own finances—a task assuredly more complicated than filing petitions to run for office.

I am not one of those people who like to say negative things about Flint. I think Flint has a lot of potential. However, the combination of the aforementioned buffoons running for office along with the failure to have any mayoral candidate placed on our ballot was too much. All I could think at the time was that the situation is just another city hall circus. And what’s a circus without animals?

So, yes, I am running Giggles the Pig for Mayor of Flint. I hope that you will vote for her as a mayoral candidate who has never murdered a human. She has never placed citizens in harm by driving drunk on the highway, and has never interrupted public business and public meetings. She is a sweet and intelligent animal—which is more than can be said for some candidates.

Yet campaigns can bring out the worst in people. The convicted murderer Councilman Wantwaz Davis left a long message on Giggles Facebook page. (The post has since been deleted.) According to Uproxx, old habits die hard with Davis as he threatened to eat Giggles.

Hypocrisy has no place nor boundaries and surly does not discriminate, in which you have confirmed. In saying, you can defend men and women in the court of law who have been charged with murder, or any improprieties, take thousands of dollars from their families, in their weakest moments, while considering them to be of no significance or ability to redeem themselves. In conclusion, I honestly laughed at your remarks, however, I will be the next mayor of Flint, Michigan and will feast off of your pig at my victory party, you can get in for free, VIP on me.

Oh the irony of a convicted murdered threatening another candidate with, well, murder and barbeque sauce.

The election in on November 2, 2015, giving Giggles plenty of time to gather support and votes. We aren’t sure how well Giggles will do in any debates, but given some of the debates we have seen, she might not do as badly as some other candidates.

We are hoping to hear the squeal of victory from Giggles after the election.

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