Remy: NoMargaritasville.

There’s a bit of history behind this parody, and we’ll deal with that at the end of the video.


I’ve got more ice than Sweden
More Maker’s than Eden
More 12-year-old whites than Prince Andrew

I’ve got more melon squeezings
Than a team meeting
How I’ll make rent I haven’t a clue

Wasting away here in NoMargaritasville
Wishing I could sell cocktails-to-go
But the government claims we’d be a gross kind of place
Just like these where you can drink outdoors

I’ve got swanky Bacardi
More Tanq than a SWAT team
More fingers of Johnny than Amber Heard

If there’s no ceiling above ya
While you’re sipping I’ll cuff ya
I guess us going under is what they prefer

Wasting away here in NoMargaritasville
Fully stocked with lost shakers of salt
Some people wail we put too many in jail
Well these laws might be a good place to start

How this whole mess started is that bars and restaurants are going out of business at an alarming rate. While many states instated, revoked and then reinstated bans on bars and restaurants to help prevent the spread of COVID-19, many bars took the innovative approach and opened up outdoor seating for patrons, including social distancing measures that the respective states had in place. It was a lifeline to small business owners who don’t want to lose their businesses, their savings, and in many cases, their life’s work.

Two states – California and New York – fired back, banning outdoor seating in bars. The lunacy from the states was on full display. While telling people not to congregate in crowd in small venues, the states said “don’t congregate in the open air as well. Don’t go out with your spouse for a drink even if you are socially distancing from everyone and the restaurant / bar is following all the requirements that are in place.

A tweet from Governor Cuomo reiterated that:

Bars, for their part, responded with making food available to patrons.

Once again, the governors of California and New York shot that down.

New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo has a lot on his plate. He’s governing a state of more than 19 million people. He’s trying to contain a COVID-19 outbreak. He’s classifying which foods are substantial enough for a meal.

The Democratic governor insists the three are related. As the state emerges from coronavirus-related closures, which decimated many a business, Cuomo is enacting new regulations on what bars must serve if they want to be open after months of being shuttered.

It can’t just be alcohol, and it can’t just be finger food. “To be a bar, you had to have food available—soups, sandwiches, etc.,” he said in a press conference yesterday. “More than just hors d’oeuvres, chicken wings, you had to have some substantive food. The lowest level of substantive food were sandwiches.”

People pushed back against the chicken wings comment. After all, Buffalo, New York is supposedly the place where Buffalo chicken wings were developed at the Anchor Bar.

The New York State Liquor Authority later issued a “clarification” to Cuomo’s statement saying:

Q: I operate a restaurant or bar, and I understand that I must serve sandwiches, soups, or “other foods” when a patron orders an alcoholic beverage, can you tell me what constitutes “other foods?”

A: “Other foods” are foods which are similar in quality and substance to sandwiches and soups; for example, salads, wings, or hotdogs would be of that quality and substance; however, a bag of chips bowl of nuts, or candy alone are not.

Californian and Governor Newsome are standing firm in trying to define what is a “meal” and in doing so, banning certain food as not being a “meal:”

They include, according to the guidelines:

  • Snacks such as pretzels, nuts, popcorn, pickles, and chips
  • Food ordinarily served as appetizers or first courses such as cheese sticks, fried calamari, chicken wings, pizza bites (as opposed to a pizza), egg rolls, pot stickers, flautas, cups of soup, and any small portion of a dish that may constitute a main course when it is not served in a full portion or when it is intended for sharing in small portions
  • Side dishes such as bread, rolls, French fries, onion rings, small salads (green, potato, macaroni, fruit), rice, mashed potatoes, and small portions of vegetables
  • Reheated refrigerated or frozen entrees
  • Desserts

Once again, we see governments taking actions that will put more businesses out of business.

For the life of us, we cannot figure out why a couple can’t go to an outdoor seating bar and have a drink if they so desire. If you are living with a person, where is the risk to the couple or to anyone else? If anything, the governments should be encouraging outdoor seating instead of in a building.

We believe that for the most part, (there are always exceptions,) that people will react favorably to regulations that make sense and don’t treat adults like people needing supervision from the state. That’s why you have seen compliance with mask regulations with push back from only a relative few.

Yet the regulations banning drinking on a restaurant’s / bar’s private property makes no sense.

We can understand trying to regulate the size of groups or number of people drinking together, but an outright ban?

That’s nuts.

Chicken wings aren’t a meal?

That’s even crazier.

Or, just another day in the land of crazy people trying to run others lives.

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