Revisiting Comments.

“The Only Thing That Is Constant Is Change ” ― Heraclitus

Life, standards and everything else seems to change over time. What was acceptable years ago, may not be acceptable now. What was unacceptable or considered “bad form” may be acceptable now. Go back 100 years and look at swimsuits for men and women at the beach and then compare them to today’s swimwear. Smoking used to be acceptable in polite society. Today, not so much.

When this blog started, some of us had been working on a blog that we really liked (we liked the admins and the people) but the blog had a comment policy of “anything and everything goes.” As time went on, comments degraded into a festival of personnel attacks and curse words. The exchange of ideas became lost in the cacophony of attacks, f-bombs and crude language that would make an ol’ salty sailor blush.

When we started Raised on Hoecakes, we made a conscience decision to not allow cursing. We realize that as time and language changes, things that were once seen as definite cursing and not have been acceptable in polite society have become the norm in many places.

While it is not our place to judge the language people use in their day to day lives, we do want to keep this blog free of cursing.

The problem is “with changing standards, what is a curse word and what is acceptable?” Do we not allow any and all curse words? Not allow the just the “biggies” like f-bombs?” Where is the line we want to draw?

We have a two part “test” in a manner of speaking. The first is that if you wouldn’t use the word to describe your loving spouse or significant other without them getting upset, the word is probably a curse word. If you wouldn’t call the love of your life a “female dog,” it’s a curse word.

The second part is a tougher standard. One of the contributors here has a mother that is over 90 years old. She is a sweet, gentile southern woman. If she says the word is a curse word, we are going with her and not allow the word on this blog.

The reason we are bringing this up is that we had a comment that contained a few words that were deemed to be curse words by the staff and the l’il ol’ Southern lady. As we don’t allow curse words on the blog, we had to go back and edit the comment to remove the words, even though we agree with the sentiment that was expressed. (We just disagreed as to how it was expressed.)

We don’t want to be editing comments or anything else here. We think that our readers are smart enough to make points without the 90 year old woman saying “oh dear me….that’s not nice,” or the dreaded “tsk..tsk..tsk.”

We know that this sounds dangerously close to censorship, but in your own homes we know that you have standards of conduct and what can be said. Our goal is to make sure that this little slice of the blogosphere does not descend into the morass of attacks and cursing that we saw on another blog. We want people to know that we have a bright line in the sand of how (not what) can be said here.

This is our home and we hope you can understand and support what we are saying. If you have any questions or comments about this, feel free to contact us. If we get the email, we respond and usually within 24 hours.


A. Afterwit.

2 Responses to “Revisiting Comments.”

  1. Lee says:

    It’s your “home.” I enjoy reading a lot of what you post, and I thank you for providing me the opportunity to occasionally comment.

    I know what comment you’re referring to. It wasn’t, uh, shall we say, very “civil.” It surprised me, because I don’t recall reading anything like that in the comment section here before. Your readers who comment are usually polite.

    I applaud you for expecting civility in your “home.” Me, personally, I try never to say anything on the internet that would have gotten me in trouble with my dad, or worse yet, disappointed either of my parents.

    Thank you for your blog.

    • AAfterwit says:


      We have always appreciated your comments here. You’ve been around awhile and know that we will debate as hard and intensely as anyone. There are times that the language used takes away from the debate – takes away from the ideas that are trying to be expressed. People become focused on how something was said rather than what was said.

      The consensus here was that we agreed with the sentiment of what the particular individual said, we just disagreed in how it was said.

      We don’t want people to think that we are “censoring” their thoughts or anything. Heck, if you believe the earth is flat and can express that in a manner that doesn’t use curse words, that’s fine with us. We aren’t going to restrict ideas. Of course, the problem is that even amongst ourselves, some staff members use language that they would never write on the blog itself. We think that leads to the conclusion that people forget that the internet is public. What you say can be seen by everyone. That’s not the same thing as when you are hanging out with some friends and the language may become a little more “course.”

      We hated having to address the issue. We want commenters and we want people to feel free to comment here. We just ask that they do it in a certain manner and not a manner that would cause people to miss their point.

      Hope you and your family are well.

      A. Afterwit.