This Contest Will No Longer Stink.

People will make a contest out of anything they do in their lives. Such is the case of the World Pie Eating Championship where contestants in the UK see who can eat pies traditionally filled with meat and potatoes in the fastest time.

(Pie Master Tony Callaghan, pictured with 2017 champions Martin Appleton-Clare and Vicky Lindley: Image courtesy of the

This year’s contest is in a state of flux and outrage after officials made a monumental change.

The World Pie Eating Championship has descended into ‘chaos’ after contestants were forced to change their filling to chicken to stop them breaking wind.

It will be the first time in its 26-year-long history the competition has not used red meat and potatoes over fears the ingredients could cause some unwelcome smells.

The decision was made in the wake of a recent scandal at a darts event where a competitor said he was put off by another player’s farts.

Officials have said the move was necessary to make the event more enjoyable for onlookers.

There is even a claim that the change was to help limit “climate change.”

Tony Callaghan, owner of competition venue Harry’s Bar, said: ‘The surprise element for many pie purists is that we’re going chicken.

‘We’re steering things away from red meat content this year for health considerations, and also to avoid the methane issue.

‘The warnings about greenhouse gasses from cattle, and the controversy involving farting at major darts tournaments which recently distracted players.’

In case you were wondering about the pies themselves:

The cooked dimensions of the official pie are 12cm diameter and 3.5cm deep with a pie wall angle from base to top of between zero and 15 degrees.

In 2012 the World Record was set when one competitor managed to eat a pie in 23.53 seconds.

(That’s roughly 4 3/4″ X 1 3/8″ for the metrically challenged people among us.)

We don’t know why we are writing about this story. It seems that this is a case where with all the bad stuff going on in the state, the country and the world, we wanted to laugh at something stupid, sophomoric and childish.

We chose meat pies and passing gas.

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