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Currently Browsing: You Can’t Make This Up

“I Threw A Sandwich And It Didn’t Even Hit The Worker….” When Food Is A Weapon.

Amy Corey of Ohio was not a happy woman.

When she and her fiance visited a local McDonalds in Chillicothe, Ohio, Ms. Corey was less than thrilled with the quality of food she received and decided to fight it out with the McDonald’s employee manning the drive through window.

Corey’s weapon of choice?

A chicken sandwich.

Corey said that the chicken sandwich was fried instead of grilled and was missing key condiments, like bacon and cheese. She said the cashier was rude to her when she tried to return the sandwich.

“It had a dab of mayonnaise on it, rotten lettuce,” Corey said.

The employee returned the sandwich with the correct condiments and additions, but with the same fried – not grilled – chicken.

Corey threw the sandwich back at the McDonalds’ employee.

Why did she throw the sandwich? Because obviously a flying sandwich trumps a rude employee, of course.

The employee one-upped Corey and called the police.

The employee declined to press charges (assault with a chicken sandwich we would guess) but Corey was banned from all area McDonalds. She Corey feels the banning is unjust. Her reasoning is priceless:

“I threw a sandwich and it didn’t even hit the worker,” Corey said. “Why would I be banned from McDonald’s? It’s wrong.”

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Wind Turbines Causing Warmer Temperatures.

The state of Texas does everything on a large scale. Texans take great pride in that fact. “Go big or go home,” seems to typify the Texan state of mind.

This means that Texas is home to four of the world’s largest wind farms. Given the open spaces, the winds and the Texas propensity for doing thing bigger than the rest of the world, large wind farms should be found in Texas.

But there appears to be a problem.

New research finds that wind farms actually warm up the surface of the land underneath them during the night, a phenomena that could put a damper on efforts to expand wind energy as a green energy solution.

Researchers used satellite data from 2003 to 2011 to examine surface temperatures across as wide swath of west Texas, which has built four of the world’s largest wind farms. The data showed a direct correlation between night-time temperatures increases of 0.72 degrees C (1.3 degrees F) and the placement of the farms.

“Given the present installed capacity and the projected growth in installation of wind farms across the world, I feel that wind farms, if spatially large enough, might have noticeable impacts on local to regional meteorology,” Liming Zhou, associate professor at the State University of New York, Albany and author of the paper published April 29 in Nature Climate Change said in an e-mail to Discovery News.

This means the wind turbines may actually be harming the climate rather than helping it. In addition to the effects on climate and weather, the warming of temperatures at night will affect growth of grasses, trees, and other plants in the area to say nothing of affecting agriculture. livestock and the need for more energy use at night to cool homes and businesses.
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Sued For Not Being A Nanny.

According to the Associated Press, the Oglala Sioux Tribe of South Dakota is suing major manufacturers of beer for $500 million dollars because the companies sold beer.

LINCOLN, Neb. — An American Indian tribe sued some of the world’s largest beer makers today, claiming they knowingly contributed to devastating alcohol-related problems on South Dakota’s Pine Ridge Indian Reservation.

The Oglala Sioux Tribe of South Dakota said it is demanding $500 million in damages for the cost of health care, social services and child rehabilitation caused by chronic alcoholism on the reservation.

Alcohol is illegal on the Sioux reservation. The Sioux leave the reservation, go to a nearby store, buy beer and smuggle it into the reservation and drink it – to excess. Obviously that is the fault of everyone but the Sioux themselves.

The lawsuit claims the alcohol has caused great hardship on the Indian tribe:
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Lego Friends Are Offensive. Say What?

Lego has introduced a new line of products called “Lego Friends” which are designed for girls who want a difference experience than playing with the normal Lego sets.

According to Mads Nipper, executive vice president of Lego:

We heard very clear requests from moms and girls for more details and interior building, a brighter color palette, a more realistic figure, role play opportunities and a story line that they would find interesting.”

The sets are brighter, more colorful but the major change is the figures in the sets are not the typical Lego figures. As you can see in the picture and the video below the Lego Friends sets sport girls that are slimmer and wear more stylish clothes than the normal Lego figure.

Enter in to the discussion the people who want to run your life.

According to one Carolyn Costin, who is the founder of the Monte Nido Treatment Center in Malibu, California, the new Lego Friends line will contribute to gender stereotyping and eating disorders in girls. Monte Nido treats people with eating disorders which is a very serious subject whose seriousness is lessened by Costin’s ridiculous statement.

Her view is also endorsed by the “International Association of Eating Disorder Professionals” who said the new line of Lego Friends is “devoid of imagination and promote overt forms of sexism.

Costin has even started an online petition where she says “Send the message to Lego that such toys won’t be tolerated!

Yes, America, girls are going to look at the Lego Friends sets and want to grow up to be two and a half inches tall.

Oy vey.

We need to be clear here.
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Letter to the Editor from Someone Who Votes. Be Very Afraid.

The Florida Today newspaper ran a “Your Opinion” letter to the editor from a John Cunningham pf West Melbourne.

Cunningham starts by saying:

As we approach the 2012 election season, the right wing has trotted out its time-tested bromide of “class warfare” to decry the notion wealthy people should pay their fair share to ensure we have a functioning society.

We wanted to make sure we represented Cunningham’s ideas fairly, so we looked up the word “bromide.” According to dictionary.com, a “bromide” is a a platitude or trite saying.” Right off the bat, Cunningham launched into a unsubstantiated attack in framing the message as “trite.” Yet later on, as we will see, he agrees liberals are engaged in and should support”class warfare.”

Liberals typically run from this intended slur, when we should embrace it. Of course, it’s class warfare, and the right has been annihilating us for 30-plus years.

We guess saying “class warfare” wasn’t a “bromide” after all.

FLORIDA TODAY’s pompous columnists moan that a substantial portion of Americans pay little or no federal taxes. That’s what happens when the top 1¤percent control 24 percent of the wealth. They think it would be swell for the working poor to cough up a little more in addition to the payroll tax, sales tax and other and taxes everyone pays.

Cunningham needs to be introduced to facts instead of rhetoric.
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Mother Charged for Boarding School Bus to Save Her Child

A Perry County, Pennsylvania mother has been charged with a third degree misdemeanor of “unlawful entry into a school bus” when she thought her son was in danger.

According to an article at PennLive.com, Tara Keener saw her 5 year old slumped over on the school bus with kids standing around him screaming for help. Keener, a nurse, rushed onto the bus to save her son Xander who, as it turns out, was only sleeping.

Keener’s boarding the bus violated the law.

The story becomes a case of she said – she said with the bus driver who is a certified nursing assistant. It is as if the mother and the bus driver not only have different recollections of what happened, but one wonders if they were on the same planet the day in question.

The bus company remembers the story a little differently, and reported the incident — as they are required by law — to the state police because the driver asked Keener to leave the bus and she refused.

They say no one was screaming ‘help,’ that Xander was sleeping, like he had before and the driver wasn’t given enough time to handle the situation herself.

We have no idea how much time the bus driver needed, but clearly she had enough time to be more concerned about Keener on the bus than she did with the child’s health.
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Heavy Metal Music – It’s A Disease

The headline of this post is a little misleading – but not by much.

A 42 years old man from Hasselholm, Sweden is being paid sick benefits by the state for being “addicted” to heavy metal music.

“I have been trying for ten years to get this classified as a handicap,” (Roger) Tullgren told The Local.

“I spoke to three psychologists and they finally agreed that I needed this to avoid being discriminated against.”

This is one of those things where the only response is “are your kidding me?”

We wish we were.

Tullgren’s life is dominated by his interest in heavy metal music. He attended over 300 heavy metal concerts last year, often skipping work days to do so. Because of the missed days, he was terminated from his job and the public had to pay for his unemployment while he was unemployed. (The unemployment system is different in Sweden than it is in the US.)

The result?
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Creativity Hits New Low

We thought of leaving this for one of our “Quick Hits” posts but the more we thought about it, the more we realized that this deserved its own post for monumental stupidity.

The Pottery Barn is having a sale on an “outdoor hopscotch” thingamajig. The item, pictured above left, will allow your kids to play hopscotch on the sidewalk for a mere $29.99!

How stupid is that?

Go buy a set of sidewalk chalk from the local dollar store and have your kids DRAW a hopscotch board. Not only will it be cheaper, but your kids will learn something as well.

The only time we can see any benefit from this monstrosity is if you live somewhere that doesn’t “allow” chalk on sidewalks. Such restrictions are usually placed by people who have too much time on their hands, want overbearing restrictions, hate kids, and have forgotten what it is like to be a kid.

In other words, Democrats.

What has the world come to when we have to buy a hopscotch board? Heck, we can remember using sticks to draw the outline on the sidewalk.

If you think this is a good idea – a portable outside hopscotch layout – please let us know why you think it is a good idea. For now, we can’t think of a single reason why this thing is better than a box of chalk.



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