Congress Demands Investigation Into University Of Notre Dame For Incitement.

Members of Congress are calling for an investigation into the University of Notre Dame, claiming the school is a hot bed for incitement of violence and insurrection.

“We have no idea what this is about,” said Father Charles “Chuck” O’Malley. “This accusation came as a total surprise to us.”

Speaker Nancy Pelosi said “Notre Dame must be held accountable. Their calls for fighting cannot be considered proper. Just listen to the song they repeatedly sing! They take pride in being the ‘Fighting Irish!'”

Rally sons of Notre Dame:
Sing her glory and sound her fame,
Raise her Gold and Blue
And cheer with voices true:
Rah, rah, for Notre Dame
We will fight in ev-ry game,
Strong of heart and true to her name
We will ne’er forget her
And will cheer her ever
Loyal to Notre Dame

Cheer, cheer for old Notre Dame,
Wake up the echoes cheering her name,
Send a volley cheer on high,
Shake down the thunder from the sky.
What though the odds be great or small
Old Notre Dame will win over all,
While her loyal sons are marching
Onward to victory.

“Notre Dame’s call for volleys and cheering, as well as ‘thunder from the sky’ is an obvious call for gun violence,” said Chuck Schumer. “These religious zealots marching is wrong and they must be stopped.”

Alabama Representative and Democrat Terri Sewell weighed in on the controversy saying, “clearly Notre Dame cannot accept the outcome of this year’s College Football playoffs where Alabama beat them like a rented drum. The University of Alabama beat them fairly so perhaps they are having problem with a southern school kicking Yankee butt 31 – 14. Their claim of “victory” and an overall win is a lie and must be punished. Roll Tide!”

Sewell’s reference to a “southern school” was immediately condemned.

“While I respect Representative Sewell’s opinion, her applauding of a southern school shows she has forgotten that white privilege is real,” Vice-President Elect Kamala Harris said. “Even the referee uniforms, which have more white stripes than black shows we are still living in an age where suppression by whites still exists.”

When asked how Notre Dame could atone for its lies and calls of violence, Pelosi suggested that students and faculty at the school needed to be re-educated. “Wafers for communion should be eliminated as well and replaced with Jeni’s premium ice cream,” she said.

EDITOR’S NOTE: For our satirically challenged readers, the above is satire showing the charges laid on Trump to be ridiculous.

One Response to “Congress Demands Investigation Into University Of Notre Dame For Incitement.”

  1. Percy says:

    Good one and very funny. The sad thing is that as I read the first few paragraphs I actually thought it might be true. It wasn’t till I got further along that I started to suspect a satirical post and only after reading your disclaimer was I sure you were only kidding. I guess it shows how low I’ve set the bar for my elected officials and that’s kinda sad..